Perspective

I’ve been thinking a lot about perspective lately. Working in the financial industry, I spend a lot of time listening to people bitch about their money. Today, for example, I had a chat session with a “Premium” client. He had over 6 million dollars in his account. He came into the chat guns-a-blazing over a miscalculation of his margin balance. In my world of “Electronic Response” blazing guns means typing in all caps!

So, here I am, running numbers for Scrooge McDuck to find out where his “missing” money was. Guess how much he complained he was missing… 3 bucks.

How many times have we fantasized about having money?

“Oh, babe, if we just had a million dollars! We could practically live off of the interest!”

Do you know what I’m beginning to realize? Rich people are some of the most miserable people on earth! I’m serious. They always have something to be “furious” about. They talk to me about how they can’t “handle” the stress of their late order of free checks. The throw tantrums and have meltdowns. They send emails from some cottage in Italy, ranting about the execution they got on their trade.

I’m always tempted to say, “You’re in Italy! On vacation!!! Stop counting your fuggin’ money and enjoy it!!”

But they can’t. The wealth consumes them. Everything else – joy, family, relaxation… even common human decency – seems to fly out the window.

Do I like the idea of having that kind of money? Sure. Do I need it? Not in the slightest.

I sit on my ass in a climate controlled building and get paid $20 an hour for very little work. Do you know that I have gotten paid to watch hundreds, if not thousands of hours of television and movies? Let’s see… True Blood, Dexter, Smallville, Weeds, Californication, are the series I can think of off the top of my head that I’ve watched in FULL while on the clock! Did you know that I wrote the majority of my first book while getting paid? Oh yeah, and they just gave me a raise for my performance.

The bulk of the world lives in poverty on less than $2 a day. That’s less than $800 a year.

“Oh, darling, can you imagine living in America? We could make $10,000 a year and live like kings!”

So there’s the finances. Moving on.

I hate jogging. I feel like I’m always too tired to go for a run. Sometimes I wake up with a sore back. From time to time I’ll stand in front of the mirror before getting into the shower, looking like a naked, shaved gorilla, and wish I had my abs back. I’ll wish the veins in my arms stood out a little more. I’ll wish my hair was a little darker and thicker. I’ll wish I could sprint a little faster, jump a little higher, maybe even look like the ripped black dude on True Blood or do all the cool maneuvers those mercenary guys on Die Hard 4 could do. I’ll wish I could skate or BMX like the guys on the X-Games can.

I can run. I am totally capable of running. If I wasn’t lazy about it, I have the potential to be anything I physically want.

“I’m too lazy to run,” is a statement most of us would make if we were being honest. If we’re really willing to say something like that, shouldn’t we be willing to say it in front of someone in a wheelchair? Shouldn’t we be willing to gripe about our lack of arm definition in front of someone who suffers from cerebral palsy? Shouldn’t we bitch and moan about how hard it is to exercise in front of the population of individuals whose bodies have failed them in some form or another?

“Sure, I’m perfectly whole physically, but running is hard.”

I think the wheelchair guy would be perfectly justified (not to mention aligned) to give me a good, solid punch in the crotch.

“I hate this mole!” you say to the Elephant Man.

“This music is too loud!” you say to the deaf woman.

“The sun is too bright!” you whine to the blind man.

“My eight-hour shift was exhausting! I really need to lie down!” you complain to the bed-ridden child battling leukemia.

So there’s the physical. Moving on.

“These kids are driving me crazy!!” you say to the couple that can’t have children.

“My husband (of 12 years who you desperately love and who returns your affection) never puts the toilet seat down!!” you shout to the lonely coworker who is still searching for love.

“My best friend is being such a jerk!” you vent to the socially awkward autistic individual.

“School is so much work. I have to read all these books!” you tell the Down Syndrome kid from up the street.

“This meatloaf is kinda dry!” you say to the 12-year-old Ethiopian who has never experienced the sensation of a full stomach.

“I’m not even getting my bonus this year!” you tell the factory worker who just got laid off.

“Our tap water tastes funny!” you whine to the Australian family whose house just burned down.

“Obama’s gonna raise my taxes by 3%!” you yell at the orphan in Rwanda who lost her entire family and village to genocide.

“Life is really hard!” you complain to the teenager who just got struck and killed by a bus.

“You’re a big, fat, spoiled, brat,” you confess to yourself in the mirror.

I had $1,000 stolen from me today. That sucked. I wrote this mostly for myself, to remind me that I live like a king. I really hope you take it as the reminder we could ALL use from time to time.

I’m not sure if you’ve seen it or not, but this brings to mind the airplane bit by comedian Louis C.K. Here it is if you haven’t seen it yet. It’s fantastic…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-LkusicUL2s

Think about it. With the right perspective, wouldn’t another sunrise bring tears of joy to our eyes? Can you imagine being filled with wonder and gratitude by the mere act of getting out of bed and standing on your own feet? Wouldn’t you dance all the way to the breakfast table? Gawk at the walls and ceiling that keep you dry and safe! Blubber like child at the sight of your own? Kiss your loved ones like it was both the first and last time?

We get comfortable. We get callused. We get greedy. We get forgetful.

Perspective is everything. It doesn’t matter how shitty you think things are. Somebody would love your life.