Who has two thumbs and hates Todd Packer? This guy.

Doing a blog post from my iPod Touch seemed like a really good idea until I started typing (more like mashing!).

"I'm sorry, the fingers you've used to dial are too fat. To order a special dialing wand..."

Alright. Enough obscure TV references. But, ten points if you knew the first one was from The Office without the picture. And, let's see, a Gold Star sticker if you remembered the second one was from The Simpsons; you know, back when it was funny.

About the goatsucker book, I know I put on here that I would finish it by Christmas. I can only devote so many hours a day to writing and I made some great progress with it. Alas, my priorities have been changed for me.

Before I can put any more time into high school bullies or mythological mexican monsters, I need to get my first book into print. I mentioned it in my first or second post on this blog. Until a few weeks ago, I had decided not to publish it. I've had some amazing conversations since then which made me reconsider. A small handful of people have actually found the book helpful and started promoting it to their friends. So, I can either let my rough drafts keep getting passed around or do it right. It was a lot of work so the latter is really the only option.

I don't write this to encourage any of you to read my first book. I just wanted to let those of you who expressed interest in the fiction book know that it has been pushed back. Even though you completely forgot about it until now, humor me and act disappointed, okay?

Damn these sausage thumbs! Don't kid yourself, you can't blog from your iPod! Goatsucker book postponed, the first one will print. More news later.

The Tiny Warrior

Don't poke fun. The punches come fast and low. I know from experience. Johnny, sorry about the Willow picture. Please don't kick my ass... again.

As the rest of you may or may not know, Johnny "The Mechanic" Miller is a much better fighter than I am Journalist. A while back I was given a contract to write for the Close-Up portion of The Salt Lake Tribune, but couldn't imagine myself doing local reporting on the side. However, in one serendipitous swipe, Johnny and I each got a chance to shine.

After Becca was kind enough to tranq us, tag us, and drag us (unconscious and tongues lolling) back into their wonderful group of friends, we started catching up. (I joke in an effort to mask my nerdy giddiness at being invited to sit at the cool kid table!)

I realized that Johnny is even more serious about fighting than ever and thought - in the spirit of reacquaintance - to contact the editors of Close-Up and pitch a story about Utah's smallest cage fighter. They loved it.

I sent in the story today and they are running it. They didn't set an exact publication date, but when I know, you'll know. They even fueled my addiction for long-winded prose by accepting the piece 32 words too long.

Headline, photo and editing pending, here is a sneak-peak at the story...

Johnny "The Mechanic" Miller doesn't look like much of a fighter. If you ran into him at the park, you'd probably find the auto-shop manager pushing his daughter on the swings during a rare day off.

Barely tipping the scales at 135, Miller doesn't fit the stereotype of a cage fighter. Despite his vigorous training regiment and healthy appetite, Miller still falls shy of even the Featherweight class.

"Yeah, sometimes it makes it tough for my trainer to line up fights," Miller said. "I almost always end up fighting someone from a heavier class."

These menial details have not curbed Miller's passion for the ring. Trying to convince him that he lacks the build for the cage is like telling Rudy that he's too small to play football.

Does the issue of stature hinder Miller after the bell rings? Apparently not. If anything, his opponents run a greater risk by underestimating Miller and succumbing to overconfidence.

"Watching Johnny step into the cage is like seeing a Geo Metro pull up to the line," explained CJ Mansfield, close friend of the fighter. "You might be guilty of chuckling until the light turns green and you realize there's a v8 under the hood."

Miller's last fight - during Throwdown II at the Mackay Events Center - ended with a victory only four minutes into the first round.

Not all of Miller's fights have left him smiling. The most crushing defeat took place during his first exhibition fight. Strangely enough, the disappointment stemmed from a complete absence of blood on the mat. Miller never got to unleash his countless hours of training because the challenger failed a drug test and forfeited.

"He was devastated," said Becca Miller, Johnny's wife. "What a bummer that was. All that training, starving, and mental preparedness to go without fighting...lame."

“I would love to be the 135lb champ not only in Utah but on the bigger scale,” Miller said about his plans within Utah's Mixed Martial Arts scene.” I want to be the champ at the highest level of competition for my weight class - World Extreme Cage Fighting.”

When asked what compelled him to take up fighting, Miller said, “I grew up in Canada and have always had a passion for doing anything physical and competitive. I got married and settled down in Utah where I met some great friends who were getting into MMA training and invited me to join. After three years a lot of hours in the gym I started to wonder about my abilities. If I’m constantly training with guys much bigger and stronger than me then what kind of threat could someone my size really pose?”

“MMA has definitely increased my self control and my respect for other people,” Miller said about the mental aspect of fighting. “In our gym we pay respects [bow] every time we get on or off the mats, spar or train with each other and every time we enter the ring to fight. It shows that you respect the person and acknowledge that they are giving you their body, time, and energy so that you can learn. I’ve never been a violent person so I don't look for fights outside of the ring.”

“I train at Bernales Institute with Khru Will Bernales and with a lot of the other great instructors,” Miller said about his training process. “Chris Wells (wrestling/takedown) Mike Diaz (Jiu-Jitsu) and a whole lot more. I also train at Mushin self Defense with Khru Brian Yamasaki and Brandon Kiser. Even if I never fight again I will always train with them.”

Miller loves spending time with wife Becca and daughter Olivia. “I think family is the most important thing in life. I really am just a regular guy who happens to have a passion for fighting.”

*** Not yet part of the article, but I also asked Becca:

Becca, how do you cope with watching your husband and father of your daughter climb into the cage?

I think that I can speak for most of our close family and friends, as well as myself, when I say that it is a bit nerve-racking to watch Johnny fight. On the other hand it is a relief to know that everytime Johnny climbs into the cage he is completley prepared both mentally and physically for each fight . Johnny is a very calm and relaxed fighter watching him battle so calmly is very reasuring, I know that he is strong enough for anything!. Johnny is truely passionate about training and fighting, because it is something he loves I completley support him with all of his MMA goals!

-----  Nov. 7 - Update ----

Just got off the phone with the editor running the story. They plan on running it November 14! 

I wish I had more black friends to hug

What a night. I have never before paid much attention to politics and usually watch the presidential nomination with the same mild interest as I might follow the PGA Tour. But tonight... tonight I was RIVETED! I have been watching CNN.com all day, working little. When the projection came in for President Obama came in, I regained my shaken hope for America and the democratic process.

I thought McCain's concession speech demonstrated great character and was only fouled by the seething response from his most faithful followers. In the past I may have been guilty of calling him a "creepy war-monger" but I gained a lot of respect for him for encouraging republicans to move forward and not tolerating the boos in response to Obama's name.

What happened to you, Halloween? You used to be cool.

We miss you, late eighties. Apparently the introduction of the "Trunk or Treat" has teamed up with local news scare tactics to keep kids off the streets. This year, we marveled at the suburb vacancy while walking our girls from door to door.  As parents, we reminisced about the hordes of costumed booger-eaters we'd grown used as kids. 

It wasn't all bad; even though Halloween this year was missing the troves of trick-or-treaters us "old folks" had gotten used to, it did offer shorts weather. Thank you, global warming for making bug spray a larger concern this Halloween than winter coats.

Perhaps our era has passed. This new, even lazier text-messaging generation has been presented with a loophole that makes collecting free candy even easier. These days, it is no longer necessary to walk from house to house when you can walk from parking space to parking space.

Either way, we will stubbornly preserve our traditionalist attitude and hit the pavement each October 31st - whether we have to trudge through snow or clouds of mosquitoes.