Losing Face(book)

I did it. I deleted my facebook account.

I had planned to wait until I could get home and save all of the pictures and notes and stuff, but it just felt like the right time to get rid of it.

A few months ago Jenny and I both had broken blackberrys and ended up using "loaner" phones with no internet for a while. During that time I hardly ever used facebook because logging on at the home computer felt like a real waste. I justified my facebook time by only doing it on my phone while multi-tasking with something else less important... like working or driving.

Honestly, facebook can be great for remembering birthdays and getting pictures of somebody's new baby. It keeps you up to date on your favorite bands' touring schedules and reminds you that your favorite tv show will be on that night. It does all of those things while chewing away at your life a few minutes at a time.

In Texas, we all got so into facebook that we would all sit around in the living room, everyone on a different computer or laptop and play virtual farming games. We would all be in the same room but somehow still miles apart. This is what we consider "socializing" these days.

Now, take a step back and think about that for a second...

Remember in the early 90's when our parents would tell us to turn off the Nintendo because we were wasting our time? Remember when they told us to go outside and play?

Now, 20 years later some of those same parents are sending us online requests for virtual seeds or fish food. We are replacing actual conversation with "pokes" and clever 420-character updates. Before long, this useful tool that allowed you to reconnect with lost friends is actually putting distance between you and those same individuals. Because, why pick up the phone or meet for dinner when you can write on someone's Wall?

Before long, getting caught up with your real "friends" takes longer and longer because for every one of them, there are five other people who you barely know or remember that have "collected" you as a friend. You are spending precious minutes your life sorting through requests to join online mafias or attend a Harry Potter costume birthday party for your fourth-cousin-thrice-removed. All of the sudden you wake up and realize that you are caught in this social web that constantly begs for your attention but provides very little real interaction.

You are forced to accept or deny the requests of a friend of a friend of a friend and begin to feel like Kevin Bacon in the middle of some twisted "six degrees" game.

Anyway, I just suddenly realized I'm done with it. I don't want to respond to any more friend requests with, "Now, remind me how we know each other." I don't want to have any more public debates about politics or religion or whether Max Hall's hatred is justified.

I love conversation. I even love a good, healthy, constructive debate - I am an ENTP personality type, after all. I just want to be able to see your face in the process. If we are going to disagree about something, I don't want to have to gauge how much of your anger is real and how much is just isolated keyboard courage.

I want my kids to grow up in a society where people still get together on a Wednesday afternoon to mill around in the backyard with a cooler of beer and soda--where the grill and the fold-out table are the only common network we need.

I know I can't make the change for anyone else, and I know that for a lot of people these online networks are their most comfortable means of connection. Personally though, leaving it all behind just feels like a step in the right direction.